Banter with Billy

From a previous comment:

We like your blog, but I have a question for Bill to see if he really means to write anything. How did you lose so much weight and how do you keep it off with all the beer-drinking you two seem to be doing?
Kim's Dad

Well Jim, good question, and let me answer it with another. Why exercise on vacation when you can just make people THINK you do? What I did in the months prior to our departure was to build a series of “mock-ups” or “sets” if you will, of the various places your beautiful daughter and I would be visiting. Right in our backyard in Astoria, NY you could find a fake London Bridge, a fake Eiffel Tower, and a collection of false “canals” to be used as both Amsterdam and Venice, etc. Then I had Kim take pictures of me in front of them all, which was all done on one VERY hectic day (imagine all the costume changes!) before we left.  As you can see in the picture above, my false depiction of Piazza San Marco in Venice looks pretty convincing.

So now, I'm basically about 300 pounds (about 140 kgs for you Europeans) with tons of beer, sausage, and pizza at my fingertips. Honestly, I dont even bother with napkins, I just wear the same clothes every day and let grease dribble down my chin onto my shirt. Thats the beauty, it doesnt matter! Whenever Kim does a blog post I just whip out one of my “vacation pictures”, taken prior to my rise to obesity and post it as if it were present day. It’s what we in the industry call a “smoke screen.” Thanks for your curiosity and I hope I’ve shed some light on my methods. Hope all is going wonderfully with Sheilagh and yourself on the boat! 

-Bill-